Nomadic Resident

new blog site

2008-06-23T17:50:00.002-04:00

Well I have converted. Please change your subscriptions and links to my new blog address

joshjsmith.wordpress.com

Everything is pretty much the same just decided to move to a different host.

Peace and Love

beauty

2008-06-23T10:37:00.004-04:00

Beauty is mysterious. The question of what makes something beautiful is always answered, but never really understood. Beauty is achieved when it emerges from ugliness. In other words beauty is order out of chaos.

What is beautiful about the creation story is that we encounter the God of beauty. How that beauty came about is not as important as who. In the creation story we see God separating water from sky, land from water, sky animals from land animals, land animals from sea animals, and humans from all the other creatures. From this story, beauty emerges from nothing, chaos, ugliness. In essence, it is God’s first act of redemption.

Beauty then defines what it means to be human. From the beginning God’s has given humans a creational mandate to subdue and have dominion over the earth. Therefore, God gave us the responsibility of taking what he has created, and continue to make it beautiful. The human ability to separate, organize the elements of creation for the betterment of life provides a glimpse of God’s desire for creating humans in his image.

A White Lotus is a gorgeous flower. But the beauty of this flower is not merely explained in its intricate design and bright color. I think the beauty of the white lotus is found in its roots, in its story. The white Lotus is a flower that grows out of swamp like conditions and blossoms right above the water. What ends up happening is the the flower redeems surrounding murky water.

White Lotus is not only a flower, it is a mission that exists in Phenom Pehn Cambodia, that provides a safe place for young girls who have been forced into the prostitute industry.

Extreme poverty forces families and individuals to make extreme choices to keep their families or them self from dying of hunger or disease. One choice for a family is to sell their daughter to the prostitute industry to get a substantial amount of money. The younger the better because that means th more virgin they are. Once the girl is sold to a brothel, then she is oxygen off to highest bidder (most likely a foreign man).

International Justice Mission and White Lotus work hard to make sure that these girls are rescued from the brothels and put into a safe place. In addition, make sure that the brothels are properly prosecuted. The organization then provides job training and reconnects the girl with her family if possilble.

That is beautiful because IJM, White Lotus, and these young girls are able to demonstrate an alternative story from the murky nature of people’s lost identity in the creational mandate.

I began to think about gospel and realized that gospel does not bring beauty it is beauty. Gospel is not Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in our NIV bible. Gospel is beauty. Gospel is IJM and White Lotus where they are living an alternative story, the story of Jesus who emerged from death to bring life.

In the same way, Jesus followers are called to separate death from life where ever we can though the love of God. The challenge is that we have to get murky, we have to encounter death so that we can be agents of restoration and reconciliation.

Opportunity | Oppressed

2008-06-06T00:29:00.002-04:00

The beauty of visiting another place is not merely seeing the different colors and faces of a culture. It is not only experiencing the night-life and tasting the food. Much of the beauty lies in the subtle change that emerges in my own thinking that occurs as a natural part of engaging another culture.

From my western/American point of view, life is acquired through opportunity. Depending on what kind of family, neighborhood, or school, opportunity is either given or it has to be taken. Thus, opportunity is simply a choice for me to capitalize on to make my life what I want it to be.

My understanding of opportunity became obvious to me when I engaged the Kmer people. It became even more noticeable when I walked through the Killing Fields Museum where deep graves with articles of clothing still remain from the genocide that happened only 30 years ago. Just like every other museum, it tells a story, but it is not a great story… yet.

The implications of genocide are deep and cannot be resolved through a couple of political programs or foreign support. In addition, the genocide that happened in Cambodia was not generational or racial. In attempt to make the country completely communist the Kmer Rouge thought it was only fair to eliminate all the educated leaders in the society. All doctors, leaders of other political groups, teachers, university teachers, etc. Once the Kmer Rouge was neutralized, Cambodia had already been paralyzed developmentally.

The sad thing about this story is that all the people living in poverty and the families who have been torn apart had no choice in the matter. The awkward thing about it is that when I engage Cambodia I am disturbed by the fact I had no choice in my extreme wealth. But in my extreme wealth I have a choice to do something about their poverty. While opportunity is not much of a choice in Cambodia, I can help make it become a choice.

All this to say, it does not come down to choice for everyone to improve their living situation. The story goes deeper. It is not simply a story of economics and choices. It is a story of oppressed and blessed. It is a story of being truly human. It is a story of living imago dei (in the image of God).

The genocide is over, but the oppression is not. The wake of the genocide is visible when I see extreme poverty and extreme wealth. The line between rich and poor is so bold that the rich keep getting richer and poor get poorer. And when I think about gospel, all I ask is, "How can the church bring heaven to earth for the Kmer people?" When Jesus brought the kingdom of God, he rescued the poor and challenged the rich; he forgave the repentant and challenged the righteous. I think he did this because the gospel is not supposed to eliminate social classes, but challenged the rich and righteous to bless the poor and oppressed. Also, the gospel forces me to question whether I am the poor or the rich, the repentant or the righteous. Regardless of income, social status, and number years as Christian, I think Jesus challenges us to be poor, to be repentant.

Finally, the gospel challenges me to think when I need Jesus, or when I need to be Jesus.

story

2008-05-30T09:21:00.003-04:00

It just occurred to me as I was sitting listening to my friend John Song, that story brings us together. This epiphany started last night when I sat down for a chocolate chip cookie and a mocha latte in a coffee house called common grounds. I was quick to open my laptop to get online and my friends demanded my attention because the manager at the shop had visited Washington D.C. I guess the conversation started because two out of four of us are noticeably white and we all spoke english in.

This small conversation led us to talk about the coffee shop and its desire to be a positive influence in Cambodia. Minutes later we were talking with the misionaries who started the coffee shop and learned about the english classes, computer classes, orphanage, tutuoring, and the fact they employ 21 Cambodians at the shop.

The irony of this occurrence is that it is exactly what my friend John Song is trying to do in Cambodia. It is called business as mission.

John Song’s story starts three years ago for me. I met him and thought that he was extremely angry. Three years later, now, I realized I am not angry enough.

John moved to the Philly area to go seminary at Biblical with the hopes of moving back to Utah to plant a church with some people he met from Seminary. It did not take long for him to realize that God had started to shape our stories in the opposite direction of Utah. In the course of those years our seminary cohort experienced a lot changes. For John and his family, they realized God was calling him to Cambodia and not Utah.

Tonight we all sat on the roof top of our hotel sweating and leaning in to hear John’s voice over top the hundreds of motor scooters crawling through streets below us. John told us about the corruption, the unjust history, and the need for Cambodian people to experience redemption. Redemption not just through a “saving knowledge” but through the gospel of Jesus that reaches out to heal people. Redemption that touches the sick, carries the cripple, feeds the hungry, empowers the powerless. Redemption that provides jobs at fair wages, eliminates corruption, and educates people so that selling a child into prostitution is not an option.

That is when it occurred to me. My story is not mine. It is John’s, yours, and everyone else’s. I thought about the story of common grounds, John’s journey to seminary for the hope of making a couple friends, and the fact that all 39 of us were sitting there listening to his story, which is my story… our story.

Cambodia Day 1

2008-05-27T10:53:00.004-04:00

“Its like doing a dance,” said my friend Dave referring to the traffic habits of Cambodia. At first I was completely taken back by the mass confusion of hundreds a mopeds criss-crossing in front, behind, and next to our van traveling along the road. It is shocking at first because I am used to american ways of driving, get there as fast as I can at the expense of everyone else.

There is a fundamental difference here. Every driver trusts the other person. When I was sixteen my dad taught to drive defensively because it wasn’t me that he did not trust, it was the other drivers. In cambodia you can pull out in the middle of traffic, switch lanes, and even cross a buys street and trust that people will go around or stop.

It really is like doing a dance. I dont know much about dancing, which is enough to know that when I try to dance with Gina, my wife, there more discension than harmony because I don’t know enough to decide whether to swoop when she dips, step when she stops, or slide when she hops.

That being said, if someone, like myself, came in and saw that the raffic was horrible because it was not organized, they would bring more harm than good trying to structure something that is already organically structured. Grant it, you cannot go 70 mph, but I have not seen a car accident yet, and there are far more vehicles and “disorganization” than american road systems.

While I am on the subject of organic growth. I have seen it in other forms of Cambodian culture besides the traffic. One of the coolest things I saw today was the Olympic stadium. It was left open for everyone to come play sports, walk, and do aerobics. They had a pool, track, soccer fields (in the parking lot), etc. As we made our way through the parking lot we noticed the intensity and talent of the games to lessen in the direction we walked. The more talented players seemed to have the bigger areas to play, and lesser the smaller areas. There was no tournament administrator, no scoreboards, no chalked lines, and no cooperate sponsoring - which means no money.

In addition, to the soccer. Around the sop of the stadium, as the sun would settle, people would come and set up big speakers and play music. Within minutes there would be someone leading an aerobics workout session. Again no companies, no sign-ups, no fees - no money. Several of these little aerobic classes would set up around the entire stadium. There are hundreds of people exercising together to different types of music, and different styles of exercise. It was beautiful.

Cambodia is developing very fast. On the surface this seems good. But my friend John Song who has been ministering here for a couple years, says that rich companies and people are buying property developing it and selling it to make a quick buck and leave. Most of the tie it is foreign investors. The problem is that the investors motivation is not the people and the Cambodian economy, it is their own wealth. So while Pnom Pehn seems to be developing well, a huge gap between the rich and poor is emerging.

writing for beginners | Post 5 | Getting Published

2007-12-13T15:05:00.000-05:00

GETTING YOUR BOOK PUBLISHED for dummies. Honestly I underestimated this book. A friend who has been helping me through my journey in writing suggested that I get one of these books. My reflections will include the format of the book, and a brief summary sprinkled with personal thoughts.

The format of this book is genius. There are little icons for tips, warnings, nuggets of wisdom, points to remember, and for possible points of danger. And they have designated areas that highlight and list important information. They are not joking when they say it is for dummies – a grade school student could read this and comprehend it. The book is by no means short. It is a wide book, and all the pages are filled with information. Therefore, the format makes this intimidating book approachable. My advice, wherever you are in the writing industry the fifteen dollars for this book will probably be worth it.

There are a total of seven sections that move chronologically through the writing process starting with the idea and working all the way up to signing the deal with the publishers. They cover a wide range of options. For example, some of them are if you want to write fiction or non-fiction, whether you use an agent or not, or if you use a publishing company or self-published.

For the summary, I will explain summarize the progression and go into further detail for specific parts when necessary. Part one is the idea process. I thought this section was extremely valuable as a first time writer because it inspires me to be or not to be a writer, nothing in between. At this point I wrestle whether I have the qualifications or the experience. The book describes how to make writing my profession. Also, as I think of ideas I have to ask, “What can you offer readers that is worth their hard-earned $15 or $25?” (Zackheim 2000, p, 21).

Part two brings is finding and meeting the publisher. Here the book helps us understand the difference between a book idea and an article idea, a good seller and a bad seller.

Part three is a short section that walks us through the process of creating book proposals and query letters. I was able to learn how to have a corner in the market through book proposals. The next step, part four, gives strategic methods for getting my book proposal in the presence of someone who cares. Here they explain the difference between working with agents and using myself as an agent, and types of publishers. They are very generous by including detailed information of several publishers. I learned in college from the way professors would talk about certain books that publishers are not objective. Just like anything, publishers have a personality. Depending on what you write about and what audience you are targeting will influence the publisher you seek and which publishers will be interested.

Sign on the dotted line – part five, the offer, negotiation, and contract. After this you are home free. Part six and seven explain production, distribution, and sales. Essentially this is the retail, but with a publishing/book twist to it. Part seven was a section that seemed like they tacked on to give more tips and warnings. It is a place for all the stuff that did not fit chronologically.

As I said, the book is great. It is well designed, easy to follow the progression, and highly informational. I also appreciate the format to make it easier to use as reference. So it can either be used as a guidebook to walk through each process of getting published. Or, it can be reference book to provide helpful solutions for troubleshooting and preparation.

I hope that my summary and thoughts provided some helpful or interesting information you have not known before.

writing for beginners | Post 4 | Resources

2007-12-08T14:33:00.000-05:00

Christian Writers’ Market Guide is a beneficial resource for all writers. It seems as if Stuart compiled writing resources and information in this reference guide for all writers, but included Christian information because other sources probably exclude it. However bias or non-bias, it has proven itself as a useful resource.

Since it is a 600 page reference guide, I did not read every page and give you what I think are the best resources. I skimmed a couple sections and published what I thought was useful for where I am as a writer and what would be useful for bloggers.

Enjoy surfing the internet today or whenever, there are several cool things to check out.

Networking

The Authors Den – this site is loaded with writers – authors, bloggers, poets, story tellers – and lots of information on events. The events page is filled with every kind of event – tv shows, free ebooks, deals, seminars – that are beneficial to anyone, but particularly writers.
Backspace – this site has everything the Authors Den has, but with a valuable addition – forums. There are numerous forums that help connect writer through weaknesses and strengths. Have a question? Ask the experts.
Christian Writers Group – This member based group allows you to choose to be an obsessive member or subtle member through Yahoo Groups. I did not join, so I am not sure of all the benefits, but it might be worth looking into for Christian Writers. Christian writing, I assume, is a different machine than all other writing.

Style

The Chicago Manual of Style – this seems to be a great resource for anyone who works with words. They provide an extensive index that provides information on manuscript preparation, grammar, punctuation, proofs, etc.
Elements of Style – by William Shrunk Jr. an online book available for us to reference and learn from.

Books

Read Print – if you are the type to read books online – this site offers free books by various authors. Also, they provide a coupons page beneficial for anyone, even non-writers.
Fetch Book – this site is very practical for finding the best price for all your books. Just type in Title, Author, or ISBN, select the book and click on Compare Prices.
Writers Write – there are several links that help the writer with resources, contests, coupons, blogging, marketing, graphic design, etc. It seems if you wanted to publish a book you could do it through this site alone.

Writing for Beginners

Once Written – this site has an indie feel by providing content and opportunities for independent writers to emerge. Take advantage of this site if you are want to move from beginner to intermediate, to professional.
First Writer – a similar site that might lead you down another path you prefer.
PWC Writers – I went to this webpage and opened the “Procrastination or Preparation.” this excerpt made me feel at home as a procrastinator. I am sure the other excerpts speak truth for the lies we conjure.

Language

Google Tools – need a definition type “define:word” no spaces and the google defines the word for you. Also, check out translation tools for different languages.
Oxymoron List – “Largest List of Oxymorons Ever Collected Online!” Some of them are very comical.
Slang – a slang translator.
The Verb – “An Active Guide to Better Writing.” This article is worth subscribing to and reading what writers are doing and learning.

Search Engines

Google Print – What doesn’t Google do? Now we can Google books.
Google Tips – there is more to Google than what meets the eye. Check out this site and learn the Google way of life.
Google Blog – search blogs through Google. I was so happy when I typed the title of my blog and it came up on the first page.

Website

Personalized Google – customize your own search engine for your webpage visitors.
Wilson Web – learn how to promote your site.
Workz – website maintenance tips.

writing for beginners | Post 3 | Conversation with an Author

2007-12-02T17:38:00.001-05:00

Being a writer has never crossed my mind, even writing as a hobby. I blogged because it was cool, not because I thought I could write. In fact in college I almost failed my basic English courses because I was unable to meet teachers’ expectations of an average writer. I wrote paper after paper and failed each time. I passed the class because I met Laura– a really smart junior who nurtured me to average writing. I passed. The sequel to that class I passed as well, but the experience was not as redemptive. I suffered through the whole class. But it was more because the professor was not inspiring and did not like me.

Five years later I am sitting on a porch with an author eating exotic fruit – I later discovered that it was at my local grocer. We chitchatted about writing and our lives for a few hours. We talked about knowing whether I am writer, audience, and agents.

My first question for him was, "How do I know if I am a writer?" To be honest I expected a simple answer like, "Your only a writer as much as you want to be a writer." I underestimated him. He taught me a system to figure out what type of person I am. This test gave me the letter combination that unlocked my dreams of publishing a book. He said these type of people make great writers. Then he went on to drop names of his friends who were authors of books I read that had the same combination.

Next he drew a simple chart that demonstrated the variety of audience. The extremes were slackers and pioneers. Right in the middle is the largest group of people because they are common people. I call this the moneymaking audience. If you want to write to make money, write a New York Times Best Seller for the common person and you will make a lot of money. But if you want to bring change and clear trails for the rest to follow – write a book for the pioneer, and don’t expect the big bucks.

While we are talking about money, he advised me to get an agent. The means is for money; the end is marketing, which is the popularity of the message being written. For example, he explained, if you walk into a publisher with a partial draft and they like what they see, they will work with you to publish it for $10,000, which is only ten thousand copies sold in the first year. That amount of money, he told me, is no risk for average publisher. Therefore, they are not taking a risk on me as a writer. In other words they are not investing in me as a writer, in marketing the book, in marketing my name as a first time author. But an agent is able to fight for a bigger investment. A bigger investment from the publisher means the harder they work to get return on their investment.

Finally we edited my paper. He warned me that he was going to make a lot of marks. I sat there with him as he explained his marks. I left critiqued, overwhelmed with how much work there was to do, yet never felt a deeper desire to write.

Being able to work with a known author on a measly assignment I wrote for school was very exciting and redefined the craft of writing for me. For the writer the word processor is the canvas where words, sentences, and paragraphs are shaped to compose a work of art. Editing is drawing. Deleting is painting. Words are the sculpting clay.

As the sun settled the mosquitoes emerged and our conversation was interrupted with redundant smacking from trying to annihilate the pesky bugs. So, we moved inside to conclude our time together and talk about my follow-up from we talked about. I left his house comparing my English teachers who are not published, and my time with an author. He was able to tap the desire to write out of who I am, rather than making me think I need to become something in order to be a writer. That is why it was not merely a conversation with an author, but with a friend who saw the good. Yes, he had to look hard to find it, but it was there and he erased doubt that polluted any hope of being a writer.

writing for beginners | Post 2 | "On Writing Well" Reflections

2007-11-25T15:26:00.001-05:00

On Writing Well is a great book for those of us who need the words to find the words to write words. Honestly, I approached this book with very low expectations and perhaps that explains my appreciation for it – how good can a book on writing actually be? I’m convinced Zinsser is a good writer because he published a book on writing. But he does not merely give strategy and tips, but inspires and challenges our framework for what writing actually is.

Zinsser teaches literary art and has us wrestle with language. Literary art is not to use language to communicate. Art is to use language for story. For fiction it is another world beyond this one. Non-fiction is the world we live – a true story. As writers we have the ability to mold words and sentences into images, emotions, experiences, and action. A good writer does not merely entertain, but is able to link the story written with the reader’s story being lived.

The task of becoming a good writer is not simply accomplished by reading my reflections, or reading Zinsser. But understanding the ideas expressed in this book get the aspiring writer to perform the task. Three themes from Zinsser can help us with the task of writing for art – clutter, momentum, and voice.

We are not writers because we have a lot to say, but because we can say it with less. “Clutter is the disease of American writing” (Zinsser 2001, p, 7). Zinsser communicates this theme by encouraging us to edit frequently, to master the English language, and to cut out unnecessary word usage. There is a myth that long is good. Very few teachers challenge students to communicate complex ideas with little and less words. In the beginning, teachers create writing to be a sluggish, cumbersome monster that causes more evil than good. This is where Zinsser completes his task. He deconstructs writing systems only to reconstruct. He does not deconstruct only to leave us to be overtaken by our own monsters that we reconstruct from his demolition pile.

There is a chapter that is worth buying the book and reading it on its own. It is a chapter that needs to be read repeatedly. It is a chapter that needs to be meditated on. Chapter 10, titled “Bits and Pieces” has numerous tips that involve parts of speech, punctuation, and the act of writing. This chapter is filled with useful sound bites that are loaded enough to teach a course. Some of the sound bites are:

- “Most adverbs are unnecessary” (Zinsser 2001, p, 69).

- “Most adjectives are also unnecessary” (Zinsser 2001, p, 70).

- “Prune out the small words that qualify how you feel and how you think and what you saw: ‘a bit,’ ‘a little,’ ‘sort of,’ kind of…” (Zinsser 2001, p, 71). It shows that we are afraid to commit. I am not somewhat of a writer. I am a writer. Or, I am not a writer.

- “Many of us are taught that no sentence should begin with ‘but.’ If that is what you learned, unlearn it – there’s no stronger word at the start” (Zinsser 2001, p, 74).

- “Surprisingly often a difficult problem in a sentence can be solved by simply getting rid of it” (Zinsser 2001, p, 80).

- “Rewriting is the essence of writing well: it’s where the game is won or lost” (Zinsser 2001, p, 84).

Clutter is obviously a soapbox for Zinsser. But it is a soapbox that is worth the time and appreciation.

It is valuable to know that clutter, momentum, and voice are here communicated as separate themes, but they are co-dependent for their execution. Clutter ruins any possibility for momentum and communicating with a clear voice. Likewise, momentum cannot co-exist with clutter, and the reader is sure to be confused trying to listen to the ebb and flow of any writing.

Therefore, there is not much to say about momentum that is separate from clutter. Zinsser said, “Make sure every component is your memoir is doing useful work. Write about yourself, by all means, with confidence and pleasure. But see that all the details – people, places, events, anecdotes, ideas, emotions – are moving your story steadily along” (Zinsser 2001, p, 135). This is true with all writing. Unnecessary information only adds to the deadening of our voice.

I remember the scene in Finding Forester when Sean Connery (Forester) has his protégé copy something that he has already written. I remember when I was learning to teach I would listen to other teachers and try to copy their style. Some critiqued and said that I sounded like Rob or Jason. But soon I discovered my own voice through copying others. “Imitation is part of the creative process for anyone learning an art or a craft” (Zinsser 2001, p, 238). So let’s imitate the best that we can. Copy excerpts of our favorite writers for practice (not publication) and soon our voice will emerge. It is like the daughter imitating her mother’s cooking. Time brings experience and liberates her to add and delete elements to give it her personal touch.

My reflections on clutter, momentum, and voice cannot take us where we want to go with writing; neither can Zinsser. But the advice from this post and even more the wisdom of Zinsser can help us in the task of writing. Art does not just happen; it emerges from messy and embarrassing mistakes. And the key is becoming embarrassed because if we are not embarrassed than we have not realized that our writing can be better. Zinsser takes us to that place of embarrassment and gives us the map to find our way out.

writing for beginners | Post 1 | Preface

2007-11-21T12:55:00.000-05:00

I am a beginner. I have only published an article in a church newsletter and posts on my blog. My writing has never graced the presence of an editor. I am an average person who is starting this journey in learning the art and business of writing. Therefore, I write on writing from a non-expert point of view with an amateur style that will hopefully progress.

What to expect from this series of posts

- Reflections for On Writing Well by William Zinsser

- Reflections for Getting Your Book Published for Dummies

- Resources found from Sally Stuart’s Christian Writers’ Market Guide

- Conversations with an author – journal

- 2-4 posts on a particular subject that will serve as a draft for an article to get published where your thoughts, critique, and opinions will help me get published.

I look forward to your comments.

J.smith

Forgiveness | additional thoughts

2007-11-12T15:32:00.001-05:00

I was reading over my previous post and had additional thoughts.

I thought it was interesting that on Halloween they made sexual offenders post a sign on their door saying “No Candy At This Residence” in Maryland. My wife, Gina, commented that it is smart – keep them away from the temptation of making the mistake again. Gina is very wise. But now everyone will judge and socially outcast that house, that family, that person because of the sign. The names on the internet are a subtle way of communicating the truth, but the sign is full exposure to neighbors, friends, and coworkers.

The problem I have with this is not the necessary action to protect children - please protect children and protect the offenders from hurting children and people. The problem is our exaggerated judgment upon these offenders for their mistakes. Would we treat these people different if everyone else knew all the things we struggle with. If there was a list on our door or on the internet that revealed all our sins, would we be so quick to judge? Would we be so quick to outcast people?

Isolation deceives. We isolate ourselves so that we will not be isolated. We hide the truth from people because we know how they will respond – as if no one else makes mistakes or does things they are embarrassed of. There are too many pastors, leaders, business professionals, husbands, wives, and children that are in isolation because they know that if they confess the truth it threatens their livelihood. At one degree it might be necessary to loose the job or temporarily be isolated from normalcy. So we take the risk of isolating the truth of our inner struggle to avoid isolation from things we depend on – job, friends, family, house, neighborhood, reputation.

Forgiveness frees people to be vulnerable. If we learn to forgive the big and the small offenses, it might save a divorce, stop a school shooting, prevent people from becoming sexual offenders, and hault rising prices caused by thievery (maybe forgiveness is the answer to rising gas prices). Forgiveness is the reason to confess. We might find that upon confessing we put our livelihood at risk, but having our livelihood in isolation is hell on earth. At least, loosing our livelihood for confessing the truth is choosing the road that leads out of hell.

The majority of us would agree that stable marriages, safe schools and neighborhoods are all good things. The Kingdom of God is this and much more, but it means that we must be risky. Jesus came to us with an agenda for us to follow. He knew that people are not going to be vulnerable all the sudden. He knew that people are not going to be radical forgivers unless they see others forgiving them radically. With small, subtle changes in our own life and patterns, we will achieve what we all strived for through our own agenda – making a difference.

forgiveness

2007-09-23T16:37:00.000-04:00

There was an interesting conversation on NPR centered around sexual offenders and their names published for all to see on the internet. There is tension because the life of this sexual offender is forever influenced by this public information, yet this public information is deemed valuable to concerned neighbors and co-workers.

As I understand it, as long as the name resides on the list everyone has the right to treat the person as an outcast. Can the person be forgiven for such a crime? And does forgiveness for this mean the name being deleted from this list? Finally, does forgiveness mean that person should be trusted again?

Forgiveness, too often, is taken lightly. If we were honest with ourselves, we would know that fear drives us to keep people who hurt us far away. So we say we forgive, but in our hearts we know that this person will never be the same to us. Not only are offenders outcast by those they hurt, but those never hurt or will hurt or even know. Outcasts are not a result of crime, they are a product of unforgiving people.

Is it possible that when Jesus challenges us to forgive over and over, that he is actually challenging us to trust and continue to trust that person no matter how much they wrong us? Is it possible that Jesus is challenging us to wipe the slate clean when we forgive people, to treat them as if they have done no wrong? Finally, what would this world look like if we forgave like that?

It is easy to assume the worst. However, maybe the Kingdom of God can be experienced through this radical type of forgiveness. It would be ridiculous if people kept trusting and forgiving, but in many cases that is what Jesus calls to be - ridiculous. We might come to find that the lack of authentic forgiveness is the reason for increasing violence, sex offenders, and injustice.

Forgiveness frees people to be vulnerable. The more forgiving we are, the more people are willing to be vulnerable and confess what makes them inhuman; the more willing we will be to confess our inhumane acts. Forgiveness is a full expression of love that moves us closer to finding out what it means to be human. I am sure that the prodigal son that Jesus talks about, never felt so human than when his father treated as if he never left.

midwife

2007-08-08T23:10:00.000-04:00

Today was the first Midwife visit for Gina, Murray (we are having a boy!), and I. It was unusual from the beginning. We thought the appointment was at the end of the month but someone called to confirm an appointment for today. Also, when we got there, the office for the midwife was in an apartment building down town Baltimore. You can assume what I was thinking… “we are going to have a back-ally baby, what are thinking!” We walk into the office, or should I say apartment, and the wall is cluttered with happy family pictures with their new baby, hopefully taken with the families that birthed them.

The people were real confused of why we were there and thought that they screwed up big time because they did not have us down to visit today. However they managed to squeeze us in for an appointment. When we left the office, literally minutes later as we were pondering how the appointments got messed up, another Midwife calls and asks why we did not show up for our appointment… OOPS!

Anyway, as we were talking with the midwife in the office we asked about birthing tubs. So we asked how the baby does not drowned in the water when it comes out – she said, “We pick it up out of the water”… I thought -dah! She went on to explain that the baby does not take its first breath until they suck the mucus out of its mouth so when the air is available it will take its FIRST breath. How cool is that, even though Murray is alive and well inside Gina, I will see him take his first breath, I will see creation climax and yet begin at the same time. That is pretty gnarly!

Another little fact that I learned was that African Americans have more stretchy skin than white people, thus making childbirth a little more easier, interesting.

Finally, you will notice the baby ticker to the right that reveals how long you have to buy us something for Murray to have on his birthday.

Peace and sorry I have not posted in a long time.

2007-07-11T20:34:00.000-04:00

I saw our baby for the first time. It made the pregnancy seem all the more real when we saw our baby jump quickly and settle slowly in the embryonic fluid. The nurse was able to print off some pictures for us, and we are excited to share them with all of you.

One of our favorite pictures was the baby’s foot. I would love to say it looks like mine, but that is impossible because Gina says I have hobbit feet. They are big and hairy. I cannot help but think about the journey my child is going to choose. As a soon-to-be parent it is easy to criticize and imagine ourselves as the perfect parents and being the one’s to inspire our children to follow the simple and narrow way, but the truth is I have trouble following that path. I suppose that is part of helping my kids follow that path is to explore and search together as opposed to having everything figured out and just feeding the answers to him/her.

dipstick

2007-06-19T20:59:00.000-04:00

When I was a baby it was a temperature dipstick.
When I was a child it was the dipstick used to scoop the powdered sugar in my mouth.
When I was a teenager it was the oil dipstick for my car.
When I was a college student it was the coffee stir dipstick.
Now, it is the urine sample dipstick that is a symbol of the present and future times that will revolutionize our life. This dipstick announced to GOOD NEWS to Gina and I that she is with child! I am going to be a dad… to someone other than Rumpert (our dog).

mornings

2007-06-16T12:10:00.000-04:00

Alessiooooo's photos
I went on a retreat to learn how to pray. It is interesting and ironic. Ironic because we are learning how to pray by listening to a guy teach us how to pray, but we are not really praying. However, it is interesting. I admit I was skeptical at first because how is praying going to change my life by merely listening to someone talk about it. I have always understood improving a prayer life by just doing it more. But, as my speech teacher said in high school, “Practice does NOT always make perfect when you are practicing the wrong way.” Change first has to happen in our thinking and then in practice. Paradigms need to be shifted, perspectives changed. It is life through a crystal and not a telescope.

Growing up in Christianity you hear it all the time... we should spend time with God in the morning because he should be number 1 on our list for the day, early in the morning our minds are not filled with distractions, it is what everyone did in the Bible, so we should do it. Well people in the Bible also worshipped God naked in public; I have not seen this...yet.

I looked at this truth from a different angle and have pretty much convinced myself that praying early in the morning is a divine response from soul that is engrained into the our being. Although I have never made praying or meditating a continual practice in the morning, I have noticed that my soul is drawn to God in the morning. I don’t know what it is exactly. Maybe it is the peace, maybe the cool of the morning, or maybe it is the innocence of a new day, a clean slate. I think it is the latter. I think in the mornings, the start of a new day, we are experience a glimpse of resurrection. So why spend my resurrection moments rushing out the door to get to work, or watching cartoons, or surfing the internet?

It has not become a pattern for me yet, but I am now convinced it is necessary for my pursuit of God.

Run

2007-05-08T19:31:00.000-04:00

The wonderful sounds of Jimmy Eat World was ringing through my ears as my body was crying out in anguish through the painful messages of the burning throat, sharp pain in the ribs, shortness of breath, and the ache of my legs. I attempted to run yesterday. By “attempt” I mean tried to run the distance I had set as a goal, two miles. I went the two miles, but only ran for about a mile of it.

The first half-mile was really easy because I was going off my adrenaline rush that was evoked by my preparation of going to run. It started with wanting to enjoy the beautiful day. Then I gathered the appropriate equipment. I was fully equipped from head to toe with my red bandana tied around my head, my large black headphones that are more appropriate for being a DJ and not a runner, my sexy, white iPod, and my Forest Gump Nike running shoes. Finally, I stretched my muscles and was limber and eager to start my journey. I felt so great running past all those cars as people watched, until later when people were probably concerned as I staggered into the road periodically.

I will try again tomorrow.

It made me think several things about Scripture and how it says to “run the race.”

I might let you know my thoughts after my next run.

Got milk? Or...

2007-03-19T17:31:00.000-04:00

Gina and I finally found a faith community for which we are excited about. Within four weeks of attending their gatherings on Sundays we were invited to go over someone's house for dinner. This is good.

The night was an unforgettable first-time dinner engagement for me. This is why...

First, the weather that night was a the opposite of the weather two days earlier. On wednesday it was a beautfful 70 degrees and Sunny. Friday, the night of the dinner, it was freezing, raining, snowing, sleeting, and there was ice all over the Road. We almost had to cancel.

Second, this is not unusual, but it added to the irony of the night - the third couple to join us was an hour late. It was a good thing that my wife and I ate a bowl of cereal before we left. Also, it was good because it gave us some time to get to know the other couple. Later they said they planned it that way...I wonder.

Third, in light of eating cereal. We discussed the benefits of using organic milk because it typically has less puss than the average grocery store milk. Yes, that is right I said PUSS! It is somewhat common in dairy cows and it is formerly know as "mastitis." It is caused by an infection in the cow's utter. I suggest reading the linked article so that your conscience can be settled.

Finally, previous to our conversation about milk, I started a conversation centered around potty humor, which, sadly, is common dinner-table talk in my circles. I started the conversation admitting that I peed the bed a couple nights ago. You are probably wondering how this conversation led into milk with puss. Or, you are assuming how the conversatiions got linked and are probably wrong. Therefore, I will explain. Peeing the bed led our conversation into health issues, which led into our frustrations with the health system in America, and this led to our conversation on organic foods - specifically milk.

This was Sarah's (one of the people at the dinner) delayed reaction to the milk info as she tried to enjoy a bowl of cereal with average, non-organic milk...".I was so grossed out but drank the milk out of my bowl nonetheless, all the while thinking it might not stay down as I went back to bed and attempted to fall asleep."

::| rumpert |::

2007-03-04T20:22:00.000-05:00

We had to run a quick errand around the corner to my in laws on Saturday. So all three of us, Gina, Rumpert (our dog), and I, drove over. While I drive Rumpert often times will sit on my gut nestled in my arms at the same time enjoying the wind and view outside. Saturday, as many may know, was an exceptionally nice day for March, so Rumpert was more than happy sitting in his usual spot with my window wound all the way down.

Well, my dog proved his toughness for which I am proud of because now we know our choice not to get him neutered was a good one! Going 30 mph Rumpert decides to leap from my arms onto the back road that led to his grandmother's house. Immediately I thought our young dog was dead. I quickly look in my mirror to see Rumpert tumbling and flopping all over the road only to spring up and walk off to play in the nearest yard.

I have realized the following:
1. Rumpert, though a made up name by me, is now synonymous with TOUGH
2. Getting your pet neutered is over rated and I would say bad advice. Think of what could have happened if Rumpert lost his manhood, his toughness. It would have been a sad, sad day for Gina and I, and a loss of $175.
3. Lassie is not all that impressive anymore.
4. Maybe I could make millions with my dog???
5. If my dog can jump from a moving vehicle could I?
6. The spiked collar was also worth the $5, it brought out the potential he was storing inside as a little dog

In summary...
A small puppy, $175. Not getting him neutered, $0. A spiked collar, $5. Watching him strut away from jumping out of a speeding vehicle, PRICELESS!

I took this line from Mastercard and in no way promoting getting in dept through credit card services or am I plagiarizing.

peace

::| Arriving |::

2007-03-01T19:11:00.000-05:00

This lent season I have discovered something about arriving, or the desire to arrive. On Ash Wednesday, Gina and I went to an Ash Wednesday service. Near the end of the gathering they had us come to the front, kneel on a pillow, and someone else whispered “From dust you have come, and to dust you will return” while they marked ash on our forehead in the shape of a cross. This ancient tradition reminded me of my mortality and humanity, which is not a bad thing. It was a reminder of how far I need to go.

As we (Gina and I) celebrate Lent together this year, I have noticed a deep longing for arrival. For a lot of people arriving is getting that financial break, that new car, the desired weight, or beating the latest video game. For me, it is vocation. I long to be in an environment where my vocation and occupation are one.

Arriving for Jesus was arriving at his unbearable death. Arriving for Jesus was sacrificing himself, giving up rites as God and coming to earth as a human. And then, arriving for him was the arrival for us all, his resurrection. Ultimate redemption for all of humanity.

The way I see it, we all want redemption we just long for it in things like money, a job, a person, an ideal image. Paul said, “The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. ” (Rom 8.19). All creation groans in anticipation for the full arrival of God’s Kingdom. That is the arrival we truly want because we know it is through his resurrection and return that dust is not the end of the story for us.

God Bless You

2007-02-19T17:48:00.000-05:00

Sneezing - A sternutation, sternutatory reflex or, more commonly known, sneeze is a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from the nose and mouth. This air can reach speeds of 70 m/s (250 km/h or 155 MPH). Sneezes spread disease by producing infectious droplets that are 0.5 to 5 µm in diameter. About 40,000 such droplets can be produced by a single sneeze.[1]

This has been one of my soap boxes for some time now. Everyone that i talk to about it shows no interest or just thinks i am psycho.

We have developed a superstition with saying “God bless you!” or “Bless you!” after someone sneezes. Some would say it is manners to say it, but I say it is superstition. This is why...

- In the middle of class while the teacher is still conducting class - someone sneezes and then not one, but several people feel the need to have to say “Bless you” to the person who sneezes.

- Again in a classroom setting - One person is reading and while reading another person sneezes. The person reading stops the flow of his reading to say “Bless You!” to the person who sneezed.

It is a superstition for the blesser and not the sneezer. For some reason the blesser thinks that people’s perspective of them will be altered for the worse if they do not bless the sneezer. From what we have discovered from Wikipedia the sneezer should be the one saying bless you because they have just contaminated the surrounding air with thousands of spit particles that could contain threatening diseases.

So let us flip culture around and have the sneezer be the blesser and the blesser be the recipient of an authentic blessing that could potentially save them of getting sick. Let us put aside our worries of people thinking that we are rude for not blessing a sneezer, and be blessers for the sake of wanting shalom on earth as it is in heaven. Let us not be driven by the impulses of cultural mannerisms that deceivingly allow us to believe we are good.

Peace

what is the deal with X-mas music

2006-12-12T18:06:00.000-05:00

I work in a large home improvement store that is very orange. I have to say that the holiday season was a nice adjustment on the eyes- not so much orange. It was funny because immediately following Halloween the mother ship of this company decided it was time to play Christmas music. Why not, it got people to think holidays = gifts = spend money at the orange store. However, everyone else thought differently. Just about every other customer, store associate, and vendors like myself complained about the fact that Thanksgiving had not come yet and Christmas music was playing. They were so adamant about it – Thanksgiving gets ripped off! To make a long story even longer, the orange store decided by the next day not to play Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. The outcry must have been so great they might have loss money.

Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas music started playing again.

So why aren’t people concerned about the overly Christian emphasis of 80% of all Christmas music. Saying “Merry Christmas” was an intolerant statement that limited the Holiday season to Christians, it made people think that Christmas originated b/c of Christians… imagine that. But in the orange store the little people in the small boxes in the ceiling keep sining and singing about a teenage virgin giving birth to the Savior of the world. No one has a problem with that? Is it because it is the holidays and we don’t want to be like Scrooge?

Then I wondered, is it significantly easier for the world to accept Jesus as a baby and not a man? Is it easier to see him cuddled up in a manger that marks a happy ending of a fairy tale like story? Do people realize that this same baby is the person who is completely intolerant because he said, “I am the way, the truth, the life, no one comes to the father but through me.” Do people know that this same person who got angry in the temple and drove people out by overturning tables and making whips. Do people know that this same baby was also the one who died and came back to life, and for some reason that story is a little more difficult to swallow than a teenage virgin? Instead of “Mary did you know…” I am working on a song “People do you know…”

I noticed not only for the majority of the world, but also for myself, that it is a whole lot easier to believe in Jesus when we can contain him in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes. Yes this was the incarnation, God becoming flesh, but the incarnation does not stop there. God continued to barge on to the scene to change people. His entrance was not obtrusive, but his life, teaching, death and resurrection sure were and are.

The Savior of the world as a baby is easy to believe in because at that point because he has not shattered our personal agendas of how we think we need to be rescued. Him being the Savior of the world probably lost its fairytaleness when he talked about a kingdom that you could not see or touch. Or, when he talked about being last, a child, or servant.

I don’t know why but, but believing in someone who only gives what I put on a Santa list – a better job, peace, comfort, world peace, a good government – does not interest me. In fact, it does not save me. It ruins me. Beleiving in someone who can offer me life that is beyond comfort, money, status, and world peace is the path I want to take.

A cool magazine

Charcoal Dust

2006-11-23T15:37:00.000-05:00

There was a time in my life when I followed the foot prints of my rabbi (teacher) that were embossed in charcoal dust. Jason Mitchell, unlike many, was a charcoal grill man. We spent many nights grilling to the sounds of Blues Traveler playing from his garage that sits right off his patio - where it all began ( a couple of years ago).
Months later when we (Chad, Ryan, Jason, Buhr, PJ - in spirit) were having a good time at Chad's house grilling for my surprise bachelor party. The climax of the night was seeing my new CHARCOAL WEBBER GRILL resting nicely on Chad's bed. The boys got me a new charcoal grill to carry on the message of charcoal grilling. It was at this point I began to be proud of taking on the responsibility of being the grill-man of the house.

Charcoal grilling is worth it on so many levels.
1. A big fire when you first light the charcoals
2. The anticipation of the charcoals getting at the right temperature - it is like the anticipation of beer fermenting.
3. The unique taste that comes from charcoal cooking.
4. The History - you have a sense that using charcoals is an ancient practice... so it is like returning to the roots of humanity.
5. The social aspect. While those coals are burning there nothing else to do other than talk.

Just the other day I visited my rabbi. I walked out on to that patio where remnants of charcoal dust still remain from cook outs we had years ago, but the altar does not. It was replaced with a modern gas grill. However, Jason enlightened me and said that it is borrowed. Yet, he still followed that by saying he was thinking about getting a gas grill. I felt betrayed. So I began to think through the many reasons why Jason, my rabbi, has lost the message of charcoal grilling.

1. Charcoal grilling is not the same without Hoochie Koochie Hot Sauce (only accessible in Texas ).
2. He covets Chad's metro gas grill that gives false messages of simplicity, quickness, and beauty.
3. He has lost ears for the message. There are no more young followers to take on the charcoal dust of the rabbi.
4. It is possible he has lost touch with the art.
5. The lazy-as# American mentality has set in As it does with us all at times.
6. His blog has demanded more of his time - www.clearlyvague.blogspot.com - link is to the right "Mitchell's Blog"
7. It is possible that he has associated the simplicity and sleekness of the MAC computers in to his grilling preferences.
8. He just does not care anymore
9. He thinks having a tank of propane fuel is more manly than having a paper bag of rocks.
10. The presence of a massive, stainless steel, out door BBQ, in his head, does not compare to having a 36 in circle for grilling.

My only hope with this is that the message of Charcoal grilling will live on for all those charcoal grillers out there, and that people will laugh at this ridiculous blog.

Final portion on this book

2006-11-07T21:50:00.000-05:00

The seeking has not stopped, questions still surface, and it seems that vagueness is the only consistency. This is good. Seeking to understand the times and to find God mingling in the midst of what we think is chaos is our ultimate hope. Therefore, the conversation will continue to progress as we observe culture to agree on conclusions of how postmoderns view the Gospel as text in a pluralistic, personal, and spiritual society.

There is no question that emerging generations have or will have a different framework form which one will understand religion, spirituality, and God. This new way of thinking is developed from the massive immigration of people, who have not left their faith behind. Rather than a “Melting Pot” approach where everything gets mixed together to produce something that resembled the majority, it is a mosaic. Each religion/people is its own piece that contributes to the bigger picture. Therefore, Christianity is not the big picture anymore (if it ever was), which leads us to conclude that the Gospels are not the main source for morality. In our marginal society this threatens many and creates a problem – “What it means to be an evangelical Protestant” (Wells, 2005, p, 96). Without the Bible as the rubric for what is right and wrong, many people from this generation and emerging generations will view the Gospels like everything else – only a piece of the bigger picture. The Gospels, the story of Jesus, put on the same level as the Koran, the story Muhammad, and many other spiritual texts.

Without the Gospels on top or as majority, it is threatening and frightening to many, yet enlightening to a few. Without the Jesus and the Gospels, foundational to Christianity, as the norm it lessens the popularity, which I refer to as the death of the Pop Jesus, however some scholars refer to it as Post-Christendom. As a result, it trims the crowds and leaves us to see who is in it for real. There was many times in the Gospels that Jesus taught extraordinary subjects that lightened the crowds. What was left, were those who were committed in were not in it for some religious sake. So, what does it mean to be an evangelical Protestant? Definitions are very restricting, but commitment never lies.

“Americans, especially in the second half of the last century, often gave full rein to their individualism, adapting beliefs to their own needs and missing-and-matching as they went along” (Wells, 2005, p, 104). Not only in our pursuit of the “American Dream” have cut off the rest of the world, but in our pursuit of God as well. More and more the myth is believed that it is essential that people have a “personal” relationship with Jesus Christ. This has influenced, greatly, how we interpret and apply the Gospels. We interpret the Gospels only in light of what is happening in our lives. It is not completely bad to interpret the Gospels locally, but as the only perspective from which we conclude meanings of texts is boxing God in. In addition, when do we ever interpret and agree on the Gospels meaning collectively? And, if we cannot agree collectively, how do we respond and act? It is normal to allow the Gospels only affect us in personal ways. We ask what does this mean to me? Or, how can I now live different in light of this message? Rather than, what does this mean to us? And, how can we now live different in light of this message? The result of this is spiritual isolation.

Spiritual isolation is now normal. Today, “Spirituality, by contrast, has come to stand for what is private and internal. What this typically means is that those who are spiritual accept no truth which not experientially grounded” (Wells, 2005, p, 110). Mysticism has replaced the Pop-Jesus, and now the Gospels are a mere tool for us becoming spiritually moved. When we are not experiencing some mystical experience that could or could not be in our soul, we respond in frustration by saying something, “I am not getting fed enough when I read the Bible on my own, or when Pastor so-and-so speaks.” We equate truth with experience. Thus, the Gospels have no meaning unless there is a feeling, tangible evidence, or list of rules that authenticate the written words. Without this type of feeling, whether admittedly or not conclude that the Holy Spirit/God was not present. So, now the church is competing with our experiential, high stimulated, and emotion based culture/media to entertain people into believing the Gospels. If the Gospels are not a stimulant they are not true.

With this ethos of reading and applying the Gospels it has its detriments, which are obviously stated above, and it has its blessings. Wells said, “Spirituality travels light. It needs no buildings, not rituals, no professionals, or even sacred books” (Wells, 2005, p, 111). For many, including myself, this is a great movement. This is a reminder of the early church. Following Jesus in its simplest form. It is hard to be involved with any form of Christianity today and not attach it to a building, system, hierarchy, money, and some kind of legalized way of living. Therefore, the reaction today for people to experience something authentic is a cry for redemption in every aspect of life, not just religion.

As usual, proceeding away from this conversation probably evokes more questions rather than answers as to how present and emerging modern generations view the Gospels as text in a pluralistic, personal, and spiritual society. Why is it necessary to think on such things? God is incarnate through Jesus, Jesus is incarnate through the Church, thus it is necessary to think on how we are going to help reveal Jesus to each culture.

Sermon on the Mount Part III

2006-10-21T10:19:00.000-04:00

[Matthew 6.19-24]

This passage from the Sermon on the Mount immediately raised several questions. These motivate some thoughts and interpretation. Therefore, the questions I had concerning this passage will help form a framework in which we can interpret and apply this passage.

First question, what are the treasures in heaven? I hate to admit this, but my first thought is that some think that storing up treasures in heaven means converting your unsaved friends so that they will be in heaven with you. This is probably not what Jesus was getting at. So, what was he getting at? Are the treasures in heaven peace, love, and joy? Are they tangible or abstract? It is possible that the mystery of the treasure is intentional, and the main message Jesus is communicating is that the treasures on earth do not compare. Do not waste time and energy with “earthly treasure.” Even further, it is possible that this is a play on word. Treasure only exists in the context of heaven; treasure anywhere else is a burden. Finally, it is Jesus’ ultimate hope that we long to have heaven on earth, that is where he wants our heart.

Second question, is storing up treasures directly related to what we look at? I think Jesus inserted this message about the eye being the source of light or dark in a person b/c that is where the battle starts. We are not to covet. We find what we look for, and what we find is a revelation of what is within us. Remember, the kingdom of God is something we cannot see or touch. It is within us.

Final Question, is it possible to love money and hate God? On the surface one might think this is not worth discussing. However, Jesus is alluding to the fact that people hate God. I know there are people who do not believe in God, who do not like God, and who choose not to follow God, but are there people who come out and say, “I hate God.” I have not met anyone, in the right state of mind, that admits to hating God. In today’s culture with several religions neighboring with each other, it is not politically correct to say that you hate God. While we may not say it, we express our true feelings to God all the time by serving that thing that our heart most desires. Jesus says we cannot serve two masters. We cannot have more than one desire of the heart. We cannot have both light and darkness occupy the same space.

Gospel ???

2006-10-14T15:44:00.000-04:00

What are the Gospels? What are the Gospels to a certain group of people? Finally, what are the Gospels to the average (most likely Western) postmodern thinker? The questions continue to linger, but that does not stop the conversation. Therefore, the following will explore how postmodern people view the Gospels, interpret the Gospels, and what biases and presuppositions they/we bring to the Gospels when we interact with them as text.

For a typical postmodern the Gospels, as text, could be everything from history, to revelation, to absolute truth and moral instruction. However, even though they possess these virtuous qualities, the Gospels are nothing more than a religious tool that compliments the spiritual compartment of one’s life depending on which religion he/she prescribes to. “Fragmentation is, in fact, characteristic of our whole society, God is disengaged from society, at least in its public aspect, work from home, Church from society, the extended family from the nuclear by the mobility the modern economic order requires and, perhaps, by the divorce which modern life so often produces” (Wells, 2005, p, 78). For the average postmodern, religion/spirituality is a mere bullet point to life that does not involve itself in the narratives of government, academics, job, relationships, leisure, or health. Therefore, assuming that a particular postmodern person ascribes to Christianity or Catholicism the Gospels only have relevance within that religious context and nowhere else.

As far as the written message in the Gospels it is, as said before, history, revelation, absolute truth, and moral instruction, but only within a particular context because it was originated from a particular context. This means that the recorded life of Jesus by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John is merely their perspective of the events they witnessed. Therefore, it is only absolute truth to Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and to all who believe it. In the same way, the Gospels are revelation, but a local revelation that is not universal to all. Thus, what is revealed from the text is subject to the reader, and that revelation has no bearing on others. Even further, since it is understood that it was revelation that the Gospel writers recorded this inspired history, the Gospels, as text, do not have to be revelation to the reader.

From this the postmodern individual forms a hermeneutic. Her conscious or unconscious lens through which she interprets the Scriptures is understood through this fragmented worldview that “rejects totalizing ‘stories’ and beliefs, insisting that our focus can only be local and perhaps only individual” (Wells, 2005, p, 81). Therefore, could this mean that there is no hermeneutic that can be characterized postmodern? It is possible. The result of our beliefs being localized has to mean that the way one interprets Scripture is strictly her own, or localized to a small group (race, location, social class, etc.). There can be no unifying hermeneutic for postmodern thinkers.

The implications of this could be drastic or freeing depending on the presuppositions and biases that evolve before one approaches the Gospel text. The non-existent hermeneutic is not good because it allows for any interpretation to be the right one. This is not something new; people have been doing this for a long time. As soon as the Scriptures were written in common vernacular, and printed for all to have, it not only freed the message to be spread, but it freed the message to change. As the culture shift becomes more prevalent, this practice of reading the Gospels becomes more prevalent and popular. The negative result of this is decentralization. Is it possible that the message could become too fragmented to impact?

However, there is an upside to the non-existent hermeneutic. The decentralization could be a blessing like the God confusing the languages at the tower of Babel. A centralized hermeneutic does not necessarily mean a centralized message, but a restricted message. Imagine if one group or person devised a hermeneutic accepted by all. Man would not be able to control the power of this. With a decentralized hermeneutic it allows for different cultures and perspective to utilize their biases and presuppositions that, collectively, could bring a greater understanding of the Gospels. For the postmodern, this is central. Thus, the presuppositions and biases, for the postmodern, would seek to be non-existent because they are aware of their localized perspective. As a result, when a postmodern encounter the Gospels is this sense, it will be a new adventure every time. However, this is a very optimistic view that assumes a postmodern is aware of and would seek to disengage or criticize her own biases. Since all is not redeemed yet, the biases, which postmodern people bring to the reading of Gospels, are the attempts to prove wrong the biases for which another person has interpreted the text.

Still the questions of the Gospels linger in the abyss as to what the Gospels actually are to the postmodern person, how they interpret them, and what are the actual biases and presuppositions they bring when they interact with them. But, it is a mystery that still keeps us seeking, which is a good thing. Thus, the questioning should never stop lest we stop seeking.

Feel free to comment!

Further reading that discuss different perspectives on interpreting Scripture:

Return to Babel: Global Perspectives on the Bible

Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Return-Babel-Global-Perspectives-Bible/dp/0664258239/sr=8-1/qid=1160854510/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5717158-5260112?ie=UTF8

Sermon on the Mount Part II

2006-10-10T18:09:00.000-04:00

[Luke 6.20-26]

Luke’s perspective on the Sermon on the Mount has a more intentional look at the “already not yet” theology of the Kingdom of God. The “already not yet” theology emphasizes the present struggle between good and evil. Kingdom has come, but has not fully arrived, thus there is deep tension that exists in the lives of those who strive to bring to the Kingdom to earth as it is in heaven. In this teaching, Jesus is explaining to his disciples that the cost now is well worth the return later. And the things that Jesus emphasizes as the cost are things that bring status according to values the world has set up. Therefore, his message is for the proud to be humbled, and for the humble to be encouraged.

So what does it mean for the Church to live this out – two things. First, it means hearing and understanding, and this could be difficult depending on what kind of hearer we are. If we are the proud this message it is very difficult to let this message resonate into our hearts. Often our response is very defensive where we justify not weeping, being rich, and being popular with everyone. However, if we are the humble we might find ourselves becoming somewhat nauseous because we know we have a lot and frequently want more, we seek popularity and status in all our social circles, and our hearts are often hardened and calloused because we distance ourselves from the difficult things that come with life having no real emotional connection with ourselves, others, and God.

Second, it is being the seed that was thrown on the good soil. Therefore, not being the seed where we hear and not understand, get motivated but soon fade, or get choked by the distractions the world offers. Being the seed thrown on the good soil means the Church is one who “hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” (Matthew 13). Therefore, the Kingdom that is already-not-yet is exactly that. We listen, take in, live, and produce. As a result we are then able to see a glimpse of the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven

Upside Down Kingdom

2006-10-10T17:47:00.000-04:00

This is the first of several reflections I am having from Wells' book Above all Earthly Powers.

I work in the door and window department of two Home Depot stores. The doors that I clean, shift, and mark are nothing but plain slabs of wood, steel, or fiberglass with an engraving or piece of glass to accent. Most of them are white or brown. It is just a door. Then I stare into the picture on the label and see this door in my dream house. I never saw my dream house before, but I did the other day, and it was all because of a door. Ironically, I have taken an interest in doors. Therefore, now I look at the door and not only see a slab of substance, but an entry way into my kingdom.

We look at pictures, television and movies and see flawed ideas of wholeness and piece them together to suite our own fantasies. We have a drive to make our present reality match our fabricated fantasy that is taken from the media and pictures, and in order to do this we consume those we have to have to get one step closer. At the same time this act of consuming is stimulating, but is short lived (Wells 2005,p, 42). Much like the anticipation of receiving that shiny gift on Christmas morning, only to be slightly disappointed moments later when our desire to consume resurfaces. We make ourselves think we need something to improve the present state of our bodies, cars, and houses.

This is the drive behind our consumption. Pretty soon our value becomes based on what we have, and we only can have when we produce. Wells said, “And yet what has not been shaken is the belief that consuming is essential to the nurture of the self” (Wells,2005,p,41). The result is a fragmented society. The desire to produce, consume, and be stimulated has driven us farther apart from each other and God and into our selves. We are in a deep, dark whole when human nature has become defined by what we can produce. “This is no coincidence. The death of God is always followed by the death of the human being” (Wells,2005,p,48).

I fantasize about the Church and how it could change the world everyday. The Kingdom of God is a righteous fantasy in that it is here already here, but not yet. There is potential for progression to bringing the kingdom of God nearer and nearer. However, this fantasy is not obtained by a selfish and flawed agenda of how we are going to consume. The Kingdom of God on earth is a selfless and divine way of life that is achieved not by consumption but by giving and seeking to satisfy the needs of others before ourselves.

Therefore, the Kingdom of God to the modernist is a similar concept to modern society – sojourning to make reality match an ideal. But, the way of life is drastically different. Jesus and the Gospels is a harsh contrast to our made up ideas of wholeness and the way of achieving wholeness. It is no wonder the Kingdom of God is sometimes referred to as “The Upside Down Kingdom.”

This upside down kingdom confronts right in the face of our individualism, consumerism, and struggle with authority. The ways of Jesus are drastically different from our society demands of us. So much so, that it might be a sin to be American. I heard some people say if you want to find God go to the poor and the oppressed people of the world and you will find him. At first, I disagreed with this. Then I began to think about what Jesus says, and what the Scripture say. It is the humble, the meek, the oppressed people that are seeking and in need searching for God’s redemption. When are into ourselves, our flawed fantasies of wholeness, and consuming whatever it takes to achieve that flawed fantasy – we don’t need God, we don’t have time for God, we don’t need others, and we don’t have time for others. This leads me to think deeper about the early church when it says “they devoted themselves to the apostles teachings and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers… And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.” A community of faith in Jesus had gotten so committed to this kingdom living that they were able to put aside their own fantasies for the greatest one. I think the western church is too scared to release all their possessions because that is drastic and it might be uncomfortable.

blessed for being the least

2006-09-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

The Sermon on the Mount Part I

The Roman Empire was large. It was dominating. It was scary. This is what was familiar to the group of people that was sitting next to Jesus on the day he decided to give them a lesson on true greatness. The culture all around these people was saying, take control, get as big as you can, have as much power as you can, show no sign of weakness. Is it possible this culture threatened them because they came from an unpopular, nomadic nation that struggles keeping their own land? Is it possible that Jesus had a political bent behind his words in the beginning of his sermon on the mount in Matthew 5.1-11? Is it possible that his words were more reaffirming rather than convicting and confrontational?

I wish I could have been there, because I love it when people say truth so boldly that it flies in the face of everything that is. I imagine myself sitting there smiling like a giddy schoolboy because this man has just put words to what I have been sensing. That sense of doubt, frustration because in order to exist and have meaning you have to gain power and step on everyone else to get it. I imagine being motivated to stand up for my country (Israel) and being proud of our smallness, the only ones who have one God, and weak because we help people and resolve fights. I imagine walking away and being blessed for being the least, which means being completely comfortable with who I am, what I do, and who I believe because of God and his righteousness.

South of the Mason-Dixon

2006-09-19T20:52:00.000-04:00

I have been living in MD for one week now. It is starting to get more and more real, which means that I am beginning to see how different it is, or how different I am. There are several things that are different like:

- People hang out in parking lots a lot. We had trouble getting to our parking space in Hollywood video parking lot b/c we did not want to be rude and interrupt the the conversations people were having in the middle of the road.

- Dollar stores are really popular and really crowded.

- People talk different.

- I have no idea where I am going. It took me 1.5 hours to get home last night b/c I got lost. I need to get a map.

Some other things are different not b/c I am south of the mason-dixon, but b/c I have taken a drastic career change (sort of). Gina and I left good friends, good community, and a good place in an effort to move in the direction that we always talk, think about, and get frustrated about. We found a group of people that are after some of the same things, and it is good. However, this move meant quitting jobs that were good, moving for the second time within 6 months, moving hours away from school, leaving some good friends, living with the family for a time, and taking on a job that will teach me how to be content.

I have noticed about myself the following:

- When our stuff is chaotic, I am chaotic. I get cranky! Part of this might be b/c we started a new diet at the same time of this transition. If you ever move, DO NOT DO THIS!
- I have been sheltered for several years from the real working world. Being with normal people outside of the church. I tell them I am in seminary, and they think I am in some government program.
- I can get up before 7am

In the midst of all this chaos, God still appears. It is vague and quiet. But we have sampled freedom, encouragement, and experienced God's presence through provision and guidance. Have you ever experienced something and said "There is something else going on here" Yeah, that is happening more often since our decisions.

The other day I was at the MVA (MD"s DMV) getting our tags, and licenses, etc. taken care of. To make a long story short... We were one day before we got fined and penalized for a few hundred dollars, and we took care of it in one trip that should have been two.

Also, when we were there, I got a phone call, found out that I lost Gina's wallet that has ALL her information and money in it, called the guy who found it (by the way found it on the highway), and it ended up that he was coming to the same place...the MVA. He got there, and said "Dude, that is so weird. I had a feeling that you would probably be here, that is soooo weird"
... Something else is going on here

Anniversary

2006-06-13T19:27:00.000-04:00

Well the remorse of our dead fish did not last long. It happened on the arrival of Gina and I's first wedding anniversary. So 365 days has passed since my wife and I became one. Here are some of my favorite memories and observations from the year.
- the honeymoon
- walking around on our honeymoon in snow flurries with only summer clothes
- saturday afternoons in the park reading chronicles of narnia
- Like PJ and his wife, Gina will always have to eat/drink whatever I am eating/drinking next to her
- the first year of marriage is fun!
- for us, God does not call one person and the other one has to follow, he calls both of us as one person.
- my favorite memory is us being sad together
- most traumatic memory is when we got in a car accident on the highway.
- I dont have it all figured out, even after reading "Five Love Languages"
- I think Gina is a prophetess - she speaks truth beyond so close to my heart and what I deal with. It is frightening to have God that close.
- Playing baseball in park. I bruised Gina's leg.
- Watching movies on a sunday afternoon.
- All the funny moments and stupid things that we do when we are sleeping. Like talking in our sleep, peeing the bed, moving funny, humming, patting the other person. There was night I was absolutely sure there was a spider crawling above my head. I woke up and started smacking all around me, and I even turned on the light.
- Our christmas pictures! check out the flickr link on the right.

Memories are essential to moving forward. If the effort is never made to remember, then the story of love is lost and we will not know where to go.

Death and Life

2006-06-12T16:15:00.000-04:00

Recently our pet fish, Sushi, died. Many of you have gotten to meet Sushi. He was great. So I have decided to write him a little eulogy in memory of him.

Sushi, our relationship started with pity, and ended in pity. We had pity on him in the massive pet store that stored him in a small plastic cup with a little hole for air. If you ask me, the pet store was NOT so pet smart. We took him home, put him in a glass bowl, and then soon into a tank. We talked to him, We fed him. I tried to pet you. We made him angry by putting a mirror up to his tank (sushi was a Beta fish - Japanese fighting fish).

It ended in pity as we watch him die with a disease they call the "ick." It began to eat away at him, and we had pity. We thought about Euthanasia, but we were hoping, and Gina was praying that the meds we gave him would help. That week was bitter sweet. He were dying, but we began to reminisce of all our memories we had with him as our first pet. Because he was the first and because I thought of the cool name, we will never forget sushi.

We have moved on. Gina had pity on another Beta fish. This fish we got for free, and his name is tumor because he has a tumor growing out of his face. The not so smart pet store was just going to let him die.

| sleeping hasn't been the same |

2006-04-27T10:36:00.000-04:00

My wife, Engelina...better known as Gina, has left me for a couple of days to visit California - a church trip. This is a totally new experience for me. There has been times when she was gone for a night, but it is five days this time... it really sucks! Along with sleeping, here are reasons why it sucks.
It is really lonely, especially at night time.

The house does not smell as good. Women smell better then men, it is a fact. So I cleaned today, that helped a little.

It is a little bit more chilly at night in the bet.

People start singing weird songs to you... Like This Bed Is Too Big With Out You by the Police

People have huge amounts of pity on you because they assume you cannot cook or anything without your wife. I had cereal and a Twix for dinner last night at 11pm.

Gina got hit on by the rental car guy. The guy went to the car and got his iTrip and let her borrow it the whole time they are there.

Also, she took the iPod, I am without my iPod for five days. Good thing I am not addicted to it.

Our pet fish, Sushi, seems really upset. Gina talks to him and spends more time with. She also feeds him a lot... I put him on a fast.

Saturday seems so far away.

Peace

| the kong |

2006-04-24T16:42:00.000-04:00

I am really frustrated. Sunday afternoon my wife and I went to Blockbuster with coupon in hand ready to choose our rainy afternoon entertainment. The discussion in the car was whether to get King Kong or not. My wife was reluctant to rent the movie. Not because there has been a lack of excitement in our friends’ opinions of the movie. Not because she would have rather rented a chick-flick. And, not because of the film’s rating. She was reluctant because she thought that she might get nightmares from it. I was nice, and said, “I can watch it while you are away,” but she said, “ I don’t want to watch it without you.” I suddenly became confused. However, after the movie my thought was, “Is it even possible for people to get nightmares from cartoons?” (those of you who have seen the recent King Kong movie, it is not a cartoon)

So we went into the store, and checked out. However, the coupon did not work for some reason, so I had to spend a fortune to merely borrow a movie. I could have decided not to get the movie, but by that point it was like telling a child he could not go to the amusement park after waiting and anticipating for hours in a ticket line. It just does not happen, and so the credit card seems to walk right from the wallet and back without thinking twice. I left the store five dollars poorer, but giddy as a schoolboy because we are about to watch King Kong after weeks of waiting and debating.

We watched the movie, and then we continued to watch the movie. After that, we continued to still watch the movie. The movie was so long we almost had to call off work the next day. I am afraid for when I will have to talk to God. I can see it now, God and I are walking and he looks at his watch and says, “You did pretty good, but a huge chunk of your life was wasted on that horrible movie Kong,” and I will respond, “Forgive those movie producers, they had no idea what they were doing.”

As much hype as this cartoon got, you would think they would have had people help create a film that might make it realistic. Anyway, didn’t this movie already exist? Woman falls in love with beast, town tries to kill beast, and woman gets upset. Besides the happy ending, I think Disney should sue for the copying of their cartoon.

Was it a cartoon? I know you can teach a monkey to do a lot of things. Grant it, they have been in several commercials lately, but come one, kung fu, karate, and the English language? My wife and I were getting so frustrated we began to yell at the movie, “Come on, get on with it! You got to be kidding me! Are you serious!” But the TV kept saying to me, “MMMMMMM, ROOOOOOAAAAAAAR!” Also, there were moments I imagined the conversation of the special affects artists creating the movie. One says, “How should we have Kong defeat this dinosaur?” A moment of silence, then abruptly the other says, ”I know I know, we can have him bite his tongue off, and then snap his jaw, and then play with it like a broken Jurassic Park figurine.”

In the end, we will say that we were disappointed, but the truth is… without the sour, the sweet is not as good (Vanilla Sky the movie). Also, movies are art, and the expressions are subject to the artists and the opinions are subject to the observer who experiences the artwork. Depending on the experience in which the artwork is viewed, and the observer herself, the masterpiece can exist as something totally awful or as something totally beautiful. Similar to a lot of things in life, but the one that comes to mind, is the church. This can be viewed in many different ways... so how do you see it, comment and let me know

Puerto Rican Jesus

2006-04-07T16:58:00.000-04:00

The other night at youth group, Mike, was the only person that showed from our small group. So, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. But, let me explain what small group has been like since the fall. I love the guys who are in my group, but as far as group dynamics and accomplishing something as a group, we have not been so good at that.
If you knew Mike, not having other people there in the group would not discourage him from being funny, or getting off topic. He is a tenacious Puerto Rican comedian. I love that... I guess our time together was different because I did not try so hard.

Since it was only us we snuck into the main auditorium of the church. I tried to turn on the lights, but it was computerized and way too complex for me to figure out. Mike tried punching all the buttons at once. I dont blame him, he is a boxer. We continued to walk into the dark, massive, room. Mike said, "What are you doin? I am scared. I cant see where you are. Are you going to attack me." I said, "No, sit down." So we sat there in the dark, massive room. Then I said, "Lets have complete silence for 5 minutes." I acted like I had a plan the whole time, secretly I just wanted him to be quiet for once (by the way if read this he would be laughing because he knows he is like this... we are boys).

We sat for 5 minutes in the dark, then we talked about sitting in the dark. It was a great conversation. Then we talked about some other stuff. Generally, it was about God, love, life, Jesus, karma, etc. That conversation was about ten minutes. Then we prayed. Mike prayed for me, and he encouraged me a lot. I prayed for MIke, and I dont know if I did anything for him. But I prayed that the Holy Spirit would challenge, prod, comfort, and take over Mike's life so much that anyone who he encountered would see a Puerto Rican Jesus. He laughed in the middle of the prayer, I chuckled, but I was completely serious.We stumbled into the lobby because our eyes were adjusting to the bright light, and we talked about how that was the first small group where we actually did something.

My nail

2006-04-06T09:08:00.000-04:00

Remember when I told the story about me stepping on the nail on Demo day...it was in Feeling Manly. Well here is the nail, and this is the actual nail. Does that look like blood?

In Memory of...

2006-04-05T21:32:00.000-04:00

I just got finished listening/air jamming to Come Sail Away by the Styx after youth group by myself. This was in memory of my boys who I used to jam with at LCBC. It is not the same!

My toothbrush

2006-04-02T15:24:00.000-04:00

My toothbrush
Originally uploaded by jj smith.

I have discovered a beautiful thing. However, I am embarassed of it ...a little. I have discovered electric tooth brushes. Not, that I have never seen them... I have never used them. This experience is invigorating.

Thousans of little fiingers spinning round and round creating a constant message for the oral cavity. The vibration, the bubbles, the annoying sound of the little motor, it all adds to the experience of brushing teeth that I have never felt as long as I had teeth. It seems the opposite is true in the case of the electric toothbrush - I want to brush my teeth longer and more often. Rather than shorter and less frequent b/c it is brushing more per second than manual tooth brush. I try to get Gina to try it, but she has some thing against using the same toothbrush... I dont know.

I am embarassed b/c this is one of those things that is completely luxury. Something as simple as brushing my teeth, I fell into the trap of needing something bigger, better, and easier.

Peace
josh

PS if some advertising person reads this and wants to use this for a comercial... at least give me a free toothbrush

Sex & Love

2006-03-30T15:03:00.000-05:00

This is obvious to us. When we read the Scriptures we see a lot of scenes that involve someone having sex with someone they should or should not. On the surface it is really confusing because we see several sexual relationships that are completely gross and inappropriate, but never get confronted in Scripture.

However, recently I have experienced and learned something extravagant about love and intimacy in the Bible. it is in the the Song of Songs. There are several interpretation to this book and several proposals to the structure. I do not want to get tangled up in this, but I want to merely share what my perspective has been.

While a lot of the Scriptures uses explicit, sexual language for Israel's relationship to God, this same language is used in Song of Songs, but not with the same context. It is communicating an intimate relationship between man and woman, and can be illustrated to the love relationship between God and his followers. With that being said, this is a sexy book/song and it has helped our marriage.

There are so many empty messages of sex and intimacy both in culture and church. How many times have you heard Song of Songs taught, or heard a teaching about how sex was meant to be? Intimacy is a beautiful thing that encourages mystery, searching, adventure, closeness, and fascination. I think, because we have not spoken and taught about this. Thus, that is why the media is getting all the attention, but is missing the real message of intimacy.

Changes...
- Complementing my wife a lot more.
- Living with my wife as my fascination and not the movies, internet, or fantasies
- Covenantal Love between my wife and I and God.
- Enjoying and love... I just watched Elizabethtown
- Working at marriage and not just letting it happen

As most of you know i work with teenagers, and I am trying to think how to teach the intimacy, sex, the Song of Songs to teenagers in way that is not offensive and crossing the boundaries, but in a way that is real and honest about God's language and experience for intimacy..sex.

Any ideas?

Feeling Manly

2006-03-28T11:32:00.000-05:00

Demolition work is the best...sometimes. I was working with Dan, Mark, Larry, Chet, and some other guys renovating a youth building. I was the youngest most ignorant guy there. They all knew their electric, framing, plumbing, and I knew my ability to swing a hammer and eat donuts. It was a lot of fun. We got to destroy. There is not too many times in life when you get to do this ...on purpose. But in the midst of destroying, I stepped on a nail. Here I am with a bunch of guys, and I am sitting off to the side wiping the blood off with my sock.
Then, I called the doc about getting tetnis (? spelling) shot, and the office was closed - understandable. But in case of emergencies they have an Answering Service. So I talked to the Answering Service, and asked them about getting a shot and
she said, "I dont know I am just the Answering Service, I can take a message for you."
I said, "But that wont help me until Monday"
she said, "Yeah."
I said, "Ok"
It is interesting that the Answering Service is for emergencies, but only act as a live voicemail. Peace
josh

Dust i am... The Lenten Journey

2006-03-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

You all know, all two of you who read my blog, that I have given up meat for Lent. It has really changed my life the last couple of weeks. I avoid looking in the freezer because that is where my meat collection is, and it tempts me. Today I had my first thoughts of just giving up on it. I thought, "What does it matter?"

Other Lent experiences have been me getting sick. Last week I was in bed for two and a half days with the stomach flu. That was disgusting. I have not been sick like that in a long time. My wife did a great job of taking care of me. This week I got the cold. And right now I am sitting here sweating when all I am doing is typing. There is something wrong with me. However, the good news is... I dont have Diabetes. I got my glucose checked and I dont have it.

Anyway, all of this sickness and sacrifice has reminded me that I am very frail and mortal. It reminds of the worst thing ever said to a human in the Bible, I think. God said to the humans (all two of them), "for dust you are and to dust you will return." I am dust, nothing but dust.

Today as I was working in the warehouse, I was listening to my iPod. I was listening to the bible, specifically the book of Psalms. So along with my sickness, I realized the dirtyness of my heart. I was listening to God speak, and it hurt because I realized that I am dust.

Realizing the my dustiness has helped me appreciate redemption.
A prayer from the book of Common Prayer.

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, Worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

I love meat

2006-03-05T15:20:00.000-05:00

Meat is a beautiful thing. I was raised in a family that was knowledgable on how to eat really good, that is eat good food, and meat was essential. As the Lent season was approaching I was racking my brain for something to give up, as if it is hard. I think it is more of strategizing to give up something, but not something too precious. So I was hanging out with my good friiend, trendy Scott, and he mentioned that he was going to give up meat. I said, "Lets journey together with this."

For some this is really easy. But for me, it has been an interesting path of loss. Meat has always been essential for every meal. It really is a change in lifestyle, and it is a journey filled with moments emptiness, but that is the point.

Even in the simple practices of eating meals, I have realized that I search for fillment in the contents that are given and prepared... normally, meat completes the meal, and completes me. I am reminded of when God provided manna (bread) and quail (meat) and gave specific instructions of how much to take and when to take. There were a few that tried to take more than what was required, and the food got infested with worms. Man does not live on bread alone, but on the very Word of God. Satisfaction comes from God, not meat, not bread, and giving up things for Lent brings me near to God b/c I am stripped of this one thing, and in the sacrifice of that I seek to be alive by God.
Peace
josh

community

2006-02-21T18:40:00.000-05:00

I know, I know ... it has been way too long since i have posted. To be honest I go through blog-swings. It is very similar to mood-swings. Just how moods toward poeple, places, experiences, and things change from one extreme to the next. So does my blogging change. I will blog constantly to be in like flyn, but the tides will quickly change.

Anyway, I wanted all those to know that I have been experiencing one of the greatest freedoms... community. My wife and I have some friends now in this place that we live and we get together weekly. It is one of those gatherings that you love, but you think about if you invited someone else... they would think you are weird. I am delusional sometimes b/c I create scenarios in my head. So here is the conversation I imagine when I think about asking people to come to our gathering.

Stranger - what are you doing friday?
Me - well I am hanging with some friends over Steve & Lois'
Stranger - I never heard of that bar?
Me - it is not a bar, they are people, and they have a home.
Stranger - What are you doing at home with friends on a friday?
Me - singing, sharing our life stories and some of our secrets, praying, reading and talking about the bible, being the church...
Stranger - is it a cult?
Me - sort of.... NO!
Stranger - cool, well maybe next week we can do something.

That is my imagined conversation. It is purely fictional, and I am finding that my delusional scenarios in my head are as far from reality as my pet fish Sushi is from real sushi. This small community of riff-raff, is a community of stories that are colliding and resonating with each other. It is not a place where difference is accepted, but it is a place where difference is encouraged, hoped for, and initiated. It is unity in diversity.

This is very exciting. We are committed to being the church and not going to church, and people are coming who do not go to church and they love it. We are not being seeker sensative, we are loving and it is working better than what I have ever experienced and learned. All I can say is that, God's kingdom is backwards. What we think will make it work is often times the thing that makes it fail.

Hard Knock Life

2006-01-03T09:25:00.000-05:00

Right now, when I am writing this, I am sitting here watching Annie with my wife and niece, Madison (from Gina’s side of the family). Gina’s dad just joined us as well. Do you remember in the beginning of the movie when all the little girls sing “It’s a Hard Kock Life,” yeah that is my favorite part of the movie, and the only part that I like because it reminds me of the Jay-Z song.

We are here in Baltimore enjoying our Christmas time with the family. It is great! It started with Christmas Eve, we came in last night after three church services, WaWa subs, and a 2 hour trip. We arrived and crashed a party that was still bumping at 11 o’clock.

Then on Christmas day we got up and opened some gifts. It was great because it was my first Christmas that I got to experience the holiday traiditions of another family. For 22 years I experienced Christmas with my family and my family only. I loved it and still do. Actually, I was a little disappointed that I was not going to participate in the normal traditions with my own family. But seeing something experiencing something different is really good for the soul.

So I guess I will tell you what made it really good. We gave to each other more than the other expected, random people from the local church and community popped in and joined us, we ate food, we laughed, and then we tried on and played with the clothes and toys we got. This is a picture Ben, my brother, who tried on the clothes of his brother Jimmy.

Did you ever have one of the occurrences that was really cool, but was really bad at the same time? You know, when you see something wrecked car and you were like “Cool!” then you realized that people suffered somehow through that. Well this happened to me. I was sleeping and my phone rang, I did not pick it up, then Gina’s phone rang and she did answer it. She jumps out of bed and run in and says to Ben “There is a fire in Reisterstown,” Ben ran out of the house and I walked to the toilet saying “I wish I was a firefighter.” Anyway, the fire was really big. It destroyed 76 units in a old folks home, but no one was hurt thank goodness. But I am sure a lot of people lost a lot of stuff that meant a lot to them. So, later on in the day we went down to see what was going on. It was great because Gina’s dad is really high up in the fire department, so all it took was a daddy phone call from Gina and he sent someone to take us down there. We passed up the all the News cameras and vehicles to the scene of the fire. I tried to get on the News, but I failed.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Jesus

2005-12-23T13:19:00.000-05:00

Should I say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

Does saying “Merry Christmas” actually mean that you are a Christian and standing up for God? If it does why? "Merry Christmas" is not just a christian phrase. Politcally correct or not, several people say it and are not a christian, so if we challenge the church to say Merry Christmas in defense of the gospel, I don’t think the rest of the world cares, or even say,”wow those people are christian b/c they said 'Merry Christmas.'”

Further on that, but separate – saying "Merry Christmas" would not save the gospel. Does that mean give up, NO! But, we have to do a whole lot more than just say "Merry Christmas" for people to encounter the gospel for this or any other Christmas season.

Last thing I would say is – Saying happy holidays could be more Christian that actually saying Merry Christmas to someone. This could be true especially now that it is a huge media thing and has become an agenda for Christians and non-Christians to battle. For example, when we are in conversation with the cashier or the someone else waiting in line at the store, saying Merry Christmas to them could really turn them off to Jesus b/c, “Merry Christmas” is nothing but a vein agenda for Christians to have their way.

This whole issue boils down to something much larger and that is tied to not being able to teach creation in schools, post the ten commandments, and say America is one nation Under God. I am afraid that Christianity has developed this reputation of winning rights to be push our agenda of prayer, ten commandments, saying God in speeches, teaching creation, and getting rid of abortion, rather than proclaiming Jesus. Can all these things be related to Jesus? Yes, but that is not it? Lesslie Newbigin said, “The confession ‘Jesus is Lord’ implies a commitment to make good that confession in relation to the whole life of the world – its philosophy, its culture, and its politics no less than the personal lives of its people. The Christian mission is thus to act out in the whole life of the whole world the confession that Jesus is Lord of all.” [the open secret]. So, our mission is the confession, not to push our agendas. I think the issue boils down to the fact that the mission has become lesser than proclaiming Jesus, it has become about proclaiming prayer, anti-abortion, etc.

When I read about Jesus, I see him interacting with people who had agendas that they were trying to push, and he shut them down like nobody's buisness. The Pharisees came to Jesus asking and testing him about agendas all the time. Back then, they were agendas like, the Sabbath, taxes, divorce, and shaking or raising hands for a promise. If you remember, he said to them, "What ridiculous hairsplitting!.. You keep meticulous account books, tithing on every nickel and dime you get, but on the meat of God's Law, things like fairness and compassion and commitment - the absolute basics! - you carelessly take it or leave it." [matt. 23].

Sometimes i think we miss the tree for the leaf, the forest for the tree.

I am Santa

2005-12-13T10:46:00.000-05:00

This past weekend Gina, who is my wife, spent a lot of time with her best friend. Whenever they are together - look out! They come up with the most random and spontaneous ideas ever. So the idea this past weekend was to dress me up like Santa, and Gina to be Mrs. Claus trying to hit on Santa. They went to the store bought some fake sheep hair for my beard. I got some load straps from my truck that were red and made suspenders out of them. Then we went outside and took pictures in the snow. Then my neighbor came out gave me his Christmas list.

The only part that was not good, was that the sheep hair got all over me. It was so bad I had to get a shower after it.

Dear Spotting & Earrings

2005-12-07T11:05:00.000-05:00

I have done something recently that has made me feel a little on the rebellious side... I pierced my ears. The experience was a little weird b/c I did it in the mall in one of those booths where everyone can see you. So, I had to act tough. The other thing that was weird was the smell of the place. I think the lady had just eaten lunch and I think she had tuna. I was really afraid that I was going to end up throwing up b/c the mixture of getting holes pocked into my ears and tuna did not settle well in my mind... it still doesn't.

Also, me and two friends went dear spotting @ 1 am. This I had never done before. it was a lot of fun, besides the fact that the spotter kept dying from having a weak battery. We saw a bunch of dear, and one buck. i think they like to play games with us. There was one time when we found a buck and he rand into the brush to hide but he was still staring at us. We turned around to get a better look and he was gone. Sneaky little guy!

One last thing, I went into Hot Topic to find some cooler earrings, and I decided to gauge my ear. I went from 18g to a 12g. That means I made the ear hole bigger. I was there with my wife and this other girl who was very experienced in ear piercing. I could tell she was experienced b/c she had about five or six piercing on her face alone... I trusted what she had to say.

Anyway, she was saying how gauging your ear does not hurt that bad, but she said that she was used to it and could endure pain. What was I going to do with that, say, "No I cant endure pain" of course I can. Honestly, I was a little nervous. But I followed through with it. I went home and got a hot shower (they said that helps it go through easier) then sat on the toilet as my wife forced the earrings through the hole that was too small. The first ear was not that bad, but the second we had to stop halfway through b/c she could not get it all the way in... I did not enjoy that so much.

Change

2005-11-30T12:53:00.000-05:00

Jesus faced people’s slothfulness to change all the time. It seems that people were uncomfortable with the good changes as well. He cast out demons, healed the sick, forgave sins, and taught the Law in a way that demanded life change. Yet, there were was still a significant size crowd and highly respected group of people that did not welcome change and the arrival the Kingdom of God that was spoken in their language. This group of people seemed to miss it. This group of people is not merely the Pharisees, it was some of Jesus’ followers too. What was happening with these certain people, that they did not welcome change? We could say they were comfortable, they were lazy, or that they disagreed. But, I don’t think that is really getting at the heart of the matter. I think one of the heart issues was that they created something that worked, was good, and it clear and precise what people needed to do to be a God follower. So, when Jesus came into the picture, they took it personally because it challenged and deconstructed what they made.

I think that God still raises up people today to challenge what is, and I am beginning to think that this conversation is God’s doing for the Church that created a neat, clear, and clean system of doing Church. So, when people come and challenge what we have created we get miffed because it has become more about the system and the character of the system than Jesus. Even now with the emergent conversation, people are starting churches that are emergent, and are more concerned about being emergent than being Jesus. There is the guy, Sedmak, who encourages us to ask questions like, Who is Jesus to us? What does he look like? Why did he come to the place? What is his mission? Peace
josh

the mac life

2005-10-24T13:35:00.000-04:00

Well as some of you know I have joined the mac life. Although, it was partly by accident, or God's provision... seriously!
Ben, my brother that I inherited through Engelina, gave us a late wedding gift... it was a mac powerbook. Then my wife had some money from her old bank account in MD, and she allowed me to use that money to get an ipod.

So I thought I would let you all know that I have joined the mac life. It is weird. The following explains why:

- When you see a fellow macie, it is a similar experience when you see people who have the same car or are driving a bus, and they wave at each other even thought they have no idea who the person is and will never see them again.

- When mac people get around all they do is talk about their computer.

- Non mac people are interested in the whole thing. The other day three of us (macies) were sitting in class at one table and our Prof. came up to us and said, "Is this the mac table?" and for the next five minutes we preceded to talk about the rise of mac computers. Also, when I took my mac into the the tech person to get configured for wireless internet at school, he said, "Oh! you have a mac!"

- There are websites, which I have NOT visited, that unite all Christian mac users. THAT IS WIERD!!!

I enjoy the mac life, but I dont know if I enjoy the mac cult.

Peace
jj smith
Peace
josh

Memories

2005-10-19T10:43:00.000-04:00

Josh & Gina wedding 037,
originally uploaded by jj smith.

It has been nearly four months since we tied the knot. Good times! It goes so fast.

Our good friends the Mitchell's told us that one of the most important things to do in your marriage and even in the first year of marriage is to make memories.

So I wanted to share some of our good memories with everyone else.

- Our honeymoon. There are a lot of memories packed into this one category that deserves its own blog.

- Road trip to pittsburgh. It was great b/c we got to spend quality time with the fam and my best friend Rucc (Adam Ruccio, who i have known since middle school).

- Going to the park in the summer. There were a couple of Sunday afternoons and Saturdays that we would go and spend time in the park on a blanket. We talked, read, and relaxed. The best was when Engelina (my wife) read to me the Chronicles of Narnia.

- Laughing. There are a couple of specific memories with laughing, but overall we love to laugh with each other. Engelina is starting to laugh at my joke a lot more... I like that

- Road trip to Kings Dominion. We went to Virginia with our good friends Megan and Ryan who live in NC. We got caught in the worse traffic of my life and when we got there after 4 hour trip (what normally is two hours), we rode two rides and left b/c it was so cot-pickin hot and crowded. This was so much fun, b/c we laughed and talked in the car for about 7 hours.

- Our recent get-a-way to Lancaster with our good friends from college. It is great to see friends.

It is really cool to see what remembering does. It has the ability to change. That is interesting.

Maybe the trouble with broken relationships between people and people and God is because we forget all the time.

Above Reproach Not Above Life

2005-10-08T18:30:00.000-04:00

So here is what I have been thinking about. Above reproach. I think this term is used improperly and lived out to a point that it is detrimental to the Kingdom in many circles. However, I could be wrong...that is not unusual

Paul used this referring to overseers or elders in the church. He said they have to above reproach, but it goes on to say what that looks like. He says, „ the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money‰

I realized in my own life that I used the excuse of being above reproach to not hang out with people who live wrongly, or not to go certain places where people would see me or do things that had the appearance of sin. That meant don‚t let anyone see me smoke my pipe, or don‚t go to bars b/c someone just might see you in there drinking milk and think that you are sinning, thus I would not be living above reproach.

I don‚t think Paul was saying this b/c that would mean that Jesus did not live above reproach. I wonder what Christian conservatives would think today if they saw a young woman caressing Jesus' feet with her hair and Jesus accepting this behavior. I wonder what they would think when they would be rebuked by Jesus for confronting an adulterous woman. They would say he is not living above reproach by hanging out with these people, and developing deep relationships with them.

I discovered that living above reproach according to Paul is exactly what Jesus did, and the opposite of my life. He said they are to be self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, faithful to his wife, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. he did not say anything about hanging out with people who did not follow this life style. If no one spent time with them how would they know about the freedom that comes from following Jesus.

Peace my brothers and sisters

Discovering the Sabbath

2005-09-06T14:08:00.000-04:00

Smokin' Word,
originally uploaded by Penzance.

I had read a bit of Abraham Joshua Heschel's book The Sabbath, and from that little bit I decided that the Sabbath was essential to our physical, mental, spiritual, and relational health. So we are trying to keep the Sabbath.

For us it is on Saturdays b/c we both do not have work. We spend time together resting, sleeping, eating, hanging out with friends in a relaxed manner, and enjoy not having plans. Recently the mystery and magic of the Chronicles of Narnia have captured us. While we were at the park my wife read to me.
Our faith community offers services on Saturday nights so we try to go the gatherings not having to worry about youth programs, children programs, meetings, etc. You know the stuff that Sundays usually get bogged down with for a Pastor's family.

Observations so far: we notice a difference when we are not able to celebrate the Sabbath for some reason. Two, we are still shaping what it looks like thus taking any advice from veterans, and I am (little by little) researching the Scriptures and the Jewish community for spiritual depth.

Anyone can feel free to give suggestions.

sushi

2005-07-27T11:02:00.000-04:00

sushi,
originally uploaded by low..

now that Engelina and i have a home to live in, we needed a little extra company for when i go away and for our entertainment since we rarely watch tv.

so we got in our car and went to nationally known super market for pets, Pet's'Mart! our options were limited to aquatic creatures b/c the nice people we rent off of do not want us to have pets (like dogs, cats, etc).

my wife and i have been planning on getting a fish for a while, and calling the fish Jeffrey...after my middle name. Jeffrey was supposed to be a goldfish, which i found out after we bought a beta fish.

so we are in the car leaving the super market for pets and said, "so, this is Jeffrey" My wife quickly responded, "NO, you cannot name a Japanese fighting fish Jeffrey." I did not know the rules for nameing fish, but I said OK.

After that conversation i predicted that the next fifteen minutes on the way home will be spent brainstorming over what name would fit a Japanese fighting fish. However, my prediction was wrong. This is because i had an epiphany. I said, "We shall name him SUSHI" (i did not say that way actually, but it adds a good affect to the story). My wife laughed and agreed. I was really happy!

fifty dollars, three other fish, and a road trip from Maryland, sushi is now living with an algi sucker in a tank that has bubbles and a filter to make is life all the more enjoyable. We think he is happier because his colors are brighter. The other fish died, not from sushi but another fish, so we flushed that killer fish down the toilet.

Peace

get your own food

2005-05-24T08:53:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been thinking about what people say about church. Usually when people think about church it is one hour gathering that happens once a week. I am tired of people saying that the teaching is not deep enough. Even in youth groups, teenagers are saying that they NEED something deeper.

It is interesting, however, that I found the opposite discussion between church leaders and the congregation in the letter to the Hebrews. It is opposite, yet the same. They were living off of the surface teachings, the basics, but did not know what was right and how to live in obedience. They were satisfied with religion, not life change in themselves or in others.

How many times do we go to church and complain we NEED something deeper, but in all actuality, what was being taught we never obeyed or taught others. The truth is we are hungry (which is good), but we are too lazy to feed ourselves. We need someone else to do it for us…once a week.

Imagine a child who gets fed by the parents once a week. Is that a healthy baby? Now imagine that same child ten years later still being fed by the parents only once a week. Not only is that person unhealthy, but they are weird!

new job journeys

2005-05-18T11:19:00.000-04:00

Street Scene Mural,
originally uploaded by philly_mark.

Well, it is official. I graduated college on Saturday and Tuesday I started what everyone calls life. Don't ask me what everything was leading up to this point. At the last minute Mike called and said that I could start ASAP. So I started the next day, which was yesterday.

My first day consisted of moving things around in my new office and spending 5 hours in the car with Mike. Get this we just sat in a parking lot in the car and talked. Syke! We went on a road trip to Baltimore for a meeting that. I got to go tag along and play basketball and eat free food. With cheese cake as a desert...sweet first day ha?

Well peace out to all my fans... stay tuned for more updates for Philly.

Gossip

2005-04-10T21:13:00.000-04:00

Gossip by Norman Rockwell,
originally uploaded by Shiryi.

"Gossip is verbal pornography." - rob bell

Normal operation has resumed

2005-03-31T09:30:00.000-05:00

Normal operation has resumed,
originally uploaded by mikep.

Normal operation has resumed because I am back at school again after spring break. As far as going to south for the typical college spring break...I made it to Maryland. We passed on going to curly haired Jason's in-laws in Georgia. However, I did get to do some really great things over spring break during Engelina's and I travels between Pittsburgh and Maryland.

Here are some interesting things that happened.

Engelina and I went to buy a simple soda at Chick Fil-A and I got charged $30 on my debit card. I complained days later and still got my money back...Honestly I don't know if I paid for the soda though...Oops!

I got to use a jack-hammer and break up a cement porch with other men. I felt real manly that day. I had to wear ear plugs, glasses, gloves, steal toed boots...It was great!

I had to dig 3ft holes 20 inches wide the same day. I felt real tired after that.

My family along with Engelina and I went to the Strip district in Pittsburgh and went to this place called Suseri's. They had really good pepperoni rolls, people who worked with the mob (maybe), and a guy who made the food with a big fat stogie sticking out of his mouth. He was so good at this that it looked like his mouth was permanently formed to fit a half inch stogie in it. It was a Kodak moment.

I did homework...Not enough!

I watched TV...Probably too much

I spent time with my nieces - Jenna the basketball player and Addy the gymnastics queen. Jenna is around 11 or 12 and Addy is around 3 or 4. Addy likes to sit on my shoulders.

Went to get Engelina's wedding band made, but the jewelers did not have the ring that we were basing it off of...That was very disappointing.

We dipped spoons into chocolate for a wedding shower.

Went to church on Easter

This is interesting ...While we were at church - Engelina and I - I saw my old girlfriend from High school...That was weird even though we did not talk.

Then we drove in the pouring down rain and almost wrecked b/c we hydro-planed...That was fun.

Peace out folks

Good things - a God thing

2005-03-20T14:33:00.000-05:00

Well I had let you all know that I went through withdrawal the other day. The good things are that we...Engelina and I are moving are to good and exciting things. I will hopefully get accepted into seminary and persue my masters, work in a church called BranchCreek community church with my good friend Mike the youth pastor Harder. Engelina will find a good paying job, by the grace of God.

So we visited a few times. I still have not come home the right way yet. Getting lost is a hobby for Engelina and I. Anyway, the last time we visited was on a spur of the moment because Mike the youth pastor Harder called me with an apartment to check out. So I called the owner...we wanted to go check it out. We went and checked it out. We liked it. We got it. We start paying on it in April - thanks to Engelina's parents who are helping us out financially. It really is a God thing because we prayed specifically for God to provide for us in a certain way and He did...above and beyone what we asked and expected. Good things - a God thing.

We are waiting to hear more information from BranchCreek Community Church with the details on what my role is going to look like in the youth ministry there.

I still have to finish my application for seminary. yeesh, I love applications, Syke!

Some people are wondering why I have to leave. Sometimes I asked the same question. But after seeing how God is providing for us with good things like an apartment, I am becoming more and more confident that Philly is where we are supposed to be going. We are not sure why yet...ask us in a few years. It is one of those times when you can only see a few steps in front, then we have to trust that the path and the light will lead us as long as we keep trusting them - the light; the path.

Withdrawal

2005-03-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today, along with my good friend Buhrtrane, went and cleaned out my stuff from Church. I was an intern for about 3-4 years now. It was a little sad. We sat that there telling stories, laughing, and shootin the poop. It was fun. I am really going to miss Rev. Jason, Acting Chad, Singing Holmes, and mother Joyce. You really get to know people when you spend hours upon hours with them day in day out.

People say that it is life. I say it too. But is it? Is it life just moving from place to place meeting people, starting over, breaking off... We say that it is life b/c it happens, and we choose sometimes/most of the time to have it that way. Is it us? Is it the culture? How much should we let the culture determine how we live? People are considered cowards when they choose people and staying close to friends and family - is that what they are? I know it depends on context, but maybe our society has it all wrong. Will it change or will we? Should it change or should we? Should it stay the same?

I know...you are probably saying, "This guy is crazy. You are only moving away, you will make new friends." I might be crazy. That is okay because this is unrated rantings baby...I just write...with a spell check on the end.

love

Descending

2005-03-04T14:45:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been thinking about Easter. Mainly because it is Lent and this year I have decided to participate in the rich tradition. I decided to give up deserts. I failed a few times, but for the most part I have been keeping up with the fast. This journey is really helping me to discover selflessness. To deny myself. Nouwen would call it - living the descending way. Not only is Lent affecting my diet, but I have sought to live this descending way and discover what it really means. So, here is what I came up with so far.

Prayer is descending myself spiritually before God. I have noticed this past week when I was struggling with sin over and over that I avoided God. I felt that I had to fix myself before I went and talked to him. Just like when you broke something and you tried to fix it before you talked to your parents. "I can do it myself." "I don't want anyone to see that I screwed up."

Community is descending myself before others. When Engelina and I were in marriage counseling we talked about Adam and Eve and how they made fig leaves right after they sinned b/c they realized that they were naked. Sometimes I think that it would not be so bad to be naked with a women. But think about it...Someone you don't know at all - that is a little awkward unless you are intoxicated. I know Adam and Eve knew each other, but never had seen each other before the way that they saw each other after they sinned. Their eyes were open, everything was exposed to them. So they covered what was different between them. Now I look at that and think what a shame...Two attractive people who are attracted to each other are not able to be naked with each other. The nakedness was only the beginning. Next it was their feelings, their thoughts, their actions, and their mistakes. Living the descending way means stripping myself in front of others. Not my clothes, but everything else. That way I cannot hide who I am and what I struggle with. Living the descending way siphens the grease off our heart and frees it to be in commune with others and God. Only Jesus loves me purely and can show me how to love others the same.

Love is descending myself. Whether it is to God, friends, family, strangers, or enemies. 1 Corinthians 13 speaks of how love is allowing for the greater good of others by my personal actions and attitude. Love for Engelina is not the fuzzy feeling inside...that is diarrhea...love for Engelina is not using her to please myself in any way. It is to build up, to forgive, to serve, to pray for...on and on. That is the descending way. Love is it! Once I learn to love God, others, and myself then prayer and community is life and breath of living the descending way.

Peace to you all
jj smith

intro

2005-02-10T14:29:00.000-05:00

Thoughts. Mystery. Questions. Soap boxes. Encouragement. Stories. My life. Others' lives. Politics. Church. Jesus. Friends. ...who knows